Learn to Speak Kellogg

Every culture has a language that reflects its values and preoccupations, and at Kellogg, our language tends to employ a LOT of acronyms. Use this light-hearted guide made by Kellogg students to learn the many Kellogg-specific terms that faculty and students use on a daily basis.

GLOSSARY OF TERMS:

1Ys: The go-getter students who complete their MBAs in one year. They're here for a good time, not for a long time.

2Ys: The students who spend two full years at Kellogg.

ASSET PRACTICUM: A class sequence in which students manage part of Kellogg's endowment and learn how to properly pronounce "finance."

BATNA: Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. Knowing one's BATNA has many uses, from buying a car to ending relationships.

BIG REVEAL: The moment at KWEST where students finally reveal their true identities and learn that their flirty KWEST leader does not actually belong to #SINGLESATKELLOGG.

BOARD FELLOWS: A select group of civic-minded students that serve as ex-officio board members for local non-profits.

KELLOGG LEADER: The ultimate human state that we at Kellogg all strive to be. What does it mean? Check our marketing materials!

CAB: Charity Auction Ball. Kellogg's Winter gala where, after three hours of open bar, you accidentally spend your entire financial aid package on concert tickets and socks knitted by your favorite professor.

CASE: A business scenario that usually starts with the protagonist gazing out the window, pondering a complicated situation. Cases teach us that, with the same information, people can come up with wildly different conclusions so we might as well make something up.

CIM: Culture Is Made – is that really what it stands for? Formerly known as Complete Immersion in Management, CIM is orientation week at Kellogg, filled with everything from name games to cheering contests. It might just be the last day camp you'll ever have in your life.

CMC: Career Management Center. The office that assists students in finding jobs.

CMS: Career Management System.

COFFEE CHAT: The most original way to learn about your classmates' careers. No seriously, 2nd Years want to talk to you about their internships!

COLD CALL: A tactic that professors say they use to foster participation. Closely correlated with heart attacks, spontaneous crying, and dry mouth.

CORE CLASSES: Classes the you have to take because... well, we don't really know why we take these classes.

DAY AT KELLOGG (DAK): An admissions event which spans three days. Two weekends each year, admitted students visit Kellogg to learn things about the school that they'll never remember, then go out each night and do things they wish they could forget.

DEAN FRAN (LANGEWISCH): Our Assistant Dean of Student Life. She answers every one of our slack messages and makes us all feel cared for.

DEAN (FRANCESCA) CORNELLI: Our beloved Dean, an Italian woman with a penchant for scarves and traveling around the world to meet alumni.

DEAN (GREG) HANIFEE: Another dean with a penchant for scarves. Send him an email with all your ideas for Kellogg (he's used to it).

DECS: The subject formerly known as Statistics or Stats. In true marketing style, if it's hard to say, rename it. Hence: Decision Sciences. See STATA.

DDD: Digital Design and Development. A MMM class that helps them become better "whole-brain innovators," whatever that means.

DISCOUNTED CASH FLOW (DCF): A quintessential finance concept – money today is worth more than money tomorrow. Some students' rationale for spending all their money on travel today because the experience now is worth more than financial stability tomorrow…right?

DRAG SHOWCASE: P@K's annual showcase in which students represent their sections by dressing in drag and competing on stage. See P@K.

E2: A popular (and ahem, not cheap) Evanston apartment building that Kellogg students all seem to live in every year. Also known as the "Kellogg Dorm."

FALL BALL: A Kellogg tradition much like the high school dances you never went to (or don't remember). Last year it got rescheduled and was renamed "Spring Fling."

#FOMO: "Fear of Missing Out." The crippling social pressure that incites Kellogg students to make terrible decisions on weeknights, spend too much money on travel, and check Instagram every 43 seconds. Every year, a few students rise above the rat race and find bliss.

#GENERAL: The most ubiquitous Slack channel at Kellogg, where every post is instantaneously scrutinized by over 4,000 users. Very low key.

GIM: Global Initiatives in Management. A Winter class where students grapple with business issues in international markets and travel to said international markets over Spring Break. Not to be confused with leg day.

GLOBAL HUB: Kellogg's expensive, state-of-the-art Kellogg building, known colloquially as the Hub, or Glub. Autonomous blinds and limited power outlets help to secure high environmental ratings. Renowned for an absurdly high student-to-bathroom ratio.

GORDON'S MARKETPLACE: Home of long lines, curly fries, and the occasional $18 lobster roll.

#GRADESDONTMATTER: A Slack channel where those who came to Kellogg for the "culture" can share relatable memes with each other.

HEAVENSTON: An affectionate pet name for our little town of Evanston.

HIGH IMPACT, LOW EGO: A value that Kellogg seeks in students. A crowd pleaser when speakers accidentally swap "high" and "low."

HOT SEAT: A favorite Kellogg game in which students ask their peers the questions they never had the chance to during CIM.

INSPIRING GROUNDS: The Hub's very own coffee shop, founded by the Grounds family of Kellogg lore.

INTERVIEW PREP GROUP (IPG): Group therapy sessions where 2nd Years offer 1st Years career advice and a shoulder to cry on, while teaching them how to best brag about a time they failed.

JUST-IN-TIME: The phrase Kellogg students use to describe their recruiting time frame when they are...ehmm, a little late.

JV: Joint Venture. A name given to the domestic partners and significant others that we never see very much of.

KCC: Kellogg Consulting Club. Characterized by students who land consulting offers, just to have every free second of their time booked for practice cases with students who haven't yet.

#KELLOGGPAWS: A Slack channel for Kellogg's loving pet parents.

KLINCOM: A custom function in STATA specifically designed for Kellogg students, hence the "K." See DECS.

KSA: Kellogg Student Association, or Kellogg's student government.

#KSA_CONNECT: A Slack channel for students to air grievances to KSA, often including grievances completely out of KSA's control.

KWEST: Stands for Kellogg…something…something…something…Trip. A chance for 1st Years to start learning the art of spending too much money on international travel.

KWESTIES: Your first best friends at Kellogg. Keep them close or they'll tell everyone the real story of why you got kicked out of the hotel...

M7: Magnificent Seven – an elite group of business schools in the US. Most Kellogg students have no idea what this stands for or why these seven schools were picked.

MANBASSADOR: A participant in a two-week competition for feminist allies, sponsored by Kellogg's Gender Equity Network. The future is female.

MBAi: Kellogg's newest MBA program, focused on business intelligence. Or, the new, improved, and condensed MMM (money making machine).

MMMs: Pronounced "Triple-Ms." Students in a complicated relationship with both Kellogg and Northwestern's McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Science.

MORS: A required pre-term course that purports to teach students about leadership. Anchored us on anchoring and something about Paul Revere?

ONESIES: The perfect Kellogg uniform - conspicuous, comfortable, and warm. Prerequisite to own before Kellogg will allow you to graduate.

PIZZA PAZZA: A classic operations case taught at Kellogg about the merits of Chicago vs. New York style pizza…or was it an assembly line?

PRIDE AT KELLOGG (P@K): Kellogg's LGBTQ+ student group and organizer of the best ragers at Kellogg.

PRIVATE EQUITY: Investments made in operating companies that are not publicly traded. Or is that Venture Capital? We get them confused. Both pay Kellogg students lots of money after graduation.

#SINGLESATKELLOGG: A Slack channel for Kellogg students who think dating at Kellogg is anything but a disaster. Strong emoji game, though.

SLACK: The omnipresent messaging platform that connects the entire Kellogg community. Both students' lifeline and the bane of their existence.

SKI TRIP: Kellogg's largest and most controversial annual trip, planned by students. Typically involves spending 2 hours on the slopes and 24 hours in the hospital.

SPECIAL K!: A group of students providing commentary on the Kellogg experience the best way they know how: singing and dancing in the annual Special K! revue.

SPONSORED STUDENT: Students whose educations are funded by and who plan to return to their pre-Kellogg employers. Just here for a good time.

STATA: A genuinely useful statistical analysis package that MBA students spend ten weeks learning never to use again. See DECS.

TG: Not to be confused with Section Reception. Kellogg's Friday afternoon Happy Hours in the Hub. Originally based on the acronym TGIF until 2005, when a corporate sponsorship changed the meaning to "Thank Goldman."

WOMEN'S BUSINESS ASSOCIATION (WBA): The official organization committed to empowering the community of women at Kellogg. Who runs the world?!

ZELL FELLOWS: A select group of Kellogg's most promising entrepreneurs who aspire to launch startups.

ZOOM: You know.